“Rules of engagement”

My three-year-old grandson is learning to follow the rules at his Japanese kindergarten. Slowly. It has taken him a while to twig that life in Japan comes with strings attached.

A walk through a Japanese park is accompanied by constant reminders of do’s and don’ts. Some are practical: “It is prohibited to cut down or break the bamboo”. Some are more open to interpretation: “It is prohibited to engage in acts that disrupt order and go against public morals”. Some are downright puzzling: “Do not put stuff on”.

But other rules are not on display. But they underpin the social framework all Japanese are expected to adhere to. 

At my local billiard hall, the etiquette is enforced by the tiny, delightful 82-year-old lady in charge. Don’t leave your chalk on the table edge the wrong side up. Don’t stand while your opponent is taking their shot. Generally, do nothing to disturb the peaceful enjoyment of others.

My regular forgetfulness is met with patient reminders. The Japanese, however, receive short shrift. They should know better.

Foreigners often complain the rules in Japan are excessive. They constrict individuality, become a straight-jacket on self-expression.

But consider this. In early January, when JAL 516 suffered its catastrophic mid-runway collision, all 367 mainly Japanese passengers were safely evacuated. The press described it as a miracle. It was in large part due to the passengers’ willingness to follow cabin crew instructions, relayed through megaphones, to the letter.