“At your convenience”

It is difficult to be caught short in Tokyo. On a recent stroll through a suburban Tokyo park, I was relieved to come across a magnificent public lavatory. The hygienically-advanced structure was equipped with laser sensors and solar power. Spic and span throughout, there were detailed records posted of the twice-daily inspections.

As I continued my ramble through the park, I came across another equally substantial refuge. And then another. Each not a stone’s throw from its predecessor.

Goodness. Why so many, I pondered? Surely one would have sufficed, or is there something in the Japanese make-up that requires a toilet in line of sight at all times?

Or is it simply the mark of an advanced society? Perhaps one could devise an international toilet index, benchmarking countries around the world against agreed criteria. For example, if their toilets are free to use. In Japan, you never need to spend a penny.

Japan would undoubtedly top any ranking. Indeed, toilets in Japan have even become artworks. In Tokyo’s Shibuya, 17 architects were recently invited to recreate the city’s public conveniences with impressive results.

Britain would be languishing in the dark ages. Public toilets in Britain are ever harder to find. If you do stumble across one, it is invariably locked. Ones that are open, have you turning out your pockets for change. And then there is the delicate question of hygiene…

Perhaps Japanese tourists should be alerted before visiting Britain? They will need to plan their journey carefully.